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Thursday, May 26, 2005

A note from the busy blogger

I'm too tired. Too stuck with work. Overworking, undersleeping and deprived. Haha.. so I figured, if u're interested in reading about the grand steamboat and the millions of jokes we had.. do feel free to hop over to elaine's blog or ryn's blog. For loads of nice pictures taken, head over to jon's.. So sorry people.. but the woman here has to prioritize :) I'll give u my two cents worth later..

xoxo.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Steamboat Galore

Dear (please insert name here),

Miss Alien Lily
requests the honour of your presence
at the inaugural steamboat gala
the grand hybrid of fishballs, vege and meat of all sorts
on Saturday, the 21st of May
two thousand and five
at eight o' clock in the evening
at Pulau Ketam Steamboat
Bandar Menjalara, Kepong
52100, Kuala Lumpur.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today is gonna be a long day spent driving. By six, I'd have to have left my place in USJ. Following is the route I'd have to take as Pak Mat of the day:

1. Vista Prima, Puchong - pick the gentle Miss Iin
2. Sutramas, Puchong - pick the jolly, always smiling Master Jon
3. Brickfields (Name of condo unknown) - pick The Crazy One, and The Twins
4. LUCT Mayang Campus - pick Lady Elaine, who will huff and puff us away if we're late.
5. The Steamboat Haven, Kepong - to eat, of course.
(Hopefully Lady Elaine will know her way around by now and can drive her way home)
6. Back to Brickfields
7. Back to Sutramas, Puchong
8. Back to Vista Prima, Puchong
9. Finally back to USJ, where I can finally jump into bed and slide off to LaLaLand

Nicole, Karis and Ling.. you've absence will be missed. I hope.

Here's a cheer to a good night out.

King of pain.

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running around my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

-- Sting

The simple life

If you're expecting some Paris Hilton scoop.. I'm sorry. You can get that in a bookstore for twenty bucks. I would like to think that this post has a little more depth than that skanky, butt-crack-flashing, originally-brunette-turned-blonde hoe.

As I was buying dinner yesterday night, I watched two little girls entertaining themselves as their mom bought them food. They were young, cute.. presumably about 5 and 7 years old. They were just playing around with a little self-made ball made out of pandan leaves. Nothing much, just a homemade toy. They shrieked with joy when their mom presented them with an ice-cream each. No, it wasn't even Haagen-Dazs.. it was just some random cheap local ice-cream (no offense to the local food industry though).

They looked so.. happy.

It struck me then how far we've come from being grateful and happy with the simple things in life. Now, nothing is ever good enough. When we have chicken rice.. we want sushi and caviar. When we have sleek, slim cd players.. we want mini Ipods (I know I do). When we have an A.. we want an A+. When we have a reliable Proton Wira.. we want a Porsche Carrera GT.

As we grow older, it seems like it's more and more difficult to please ourselves. It seems like being happy is such a arduous task. In fact, it gets even more frustrating because being angry, sad and disappointed seems to come so easily to us. No? You don't think so? Then I guess you truly are lucky. It's just me then. I'd give anything to feel the way I felt when I was younger. When life was simpler. Times when we hurt each other, regardless if it was intentional or not.. and saying a simple sorry or giving a sincere smile was all it took to mend things. Times when our biggest sin was copying the add maths solutions off someone else's book. I miss those days.

Is it really necessary to feel sad before we can truly learn how to be happy? Will we ever find ourselves in that serene state of mind again? Is being simply happy really that difficult?


The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely and unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
-- Anne Frank.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Fee-youuuu

Shan and I went to the restaurant downstairs to 'ta-pau' dinner. I was holding three packets of rice when we entered the lift. A middle aged couple walked out. We walked in. Pressed the floor button and let the doors close.

We realised too late that the lift reeked of fart. We were trapped. Frantically I tried getting out of the lift but it wouldn't open. I held my breath from the lower ground all the way to the third floor and I think I nearly died from suffocation. Shan looked somewhat 'green'.

WTF!

And Fariz thought the food tasted good. *snickers*

Grass on the other side

I'm hungry. I'm bored waiting for my friends whom I knew would be late. I'm dying to play dota. In the meanwhile, I guess what I can do is blog.

Entry of the day

1. I'm vertically-challenged. Don't wanna say the 'S' word.
2. I'm skinny.
3. I'm skinny. (Where art thou curves?)
4. I have horrendous, ghastly-looking eyebags.
5. I don't like my teeth.
6. I'm not the smartest person around.
7. I'm never on time.
8. I can't draw.
9. I'm not photogenic. Or maybe that's just an excuse for looking bad.

Pardon me, this may sound like a self-pitying entry. It not. I'm not fishing for compliments and I am not asking you to comfort me and tell me that I'm the most beautiful person on earth. It's fine. Really.. *puts hand on heart*

It's just that I've been thinking. Isn't it true how we always look at others and go "Sigh.. how I wish I had her body/face" or "Damn she can sing. I would never sound like that in a million years". I've been there.. You've been there.. We've all been there.

Despite how beautiful/good looking/smart/talented/popular we are.. we will never stop wishing we were somehow 'better'. I do not wish that I was someone else. I am truly happy to be who I am.. but aren't there times when we wished we had that other person's traits? No matter how hard we try, I've learnt that we will never be no.1. There will always be someone prettier, someone smarter, someone taller, someone nicer.

I compare myself with others. Sometimes people tell me I'm too hard on myself. Growing up, I've always strived to be the best. In everything. I was like the icon for "kiasu-ism". *shakes head* Everything I wanted, I got. Someone once asked me two years back, if I had things in life I regretted. I said no. It was an honest answer. Somehow, I guess I had life easy. I was gutsy and I was confident. I did everything I wanted to do and came out victorious. I had the ego of Mount Everest and I thought no one could ever bring me down.

Till one day, I learnt that some things just aren't meant to be. Some things, those you want most badly.. maybe, just maybe were never meant to be yours.

**The writer is at this point interrupted by screams and door banging. Apparently, the latecomers have finally arrived. The writer apologizes for the abrupt end but hey.. it doesn't sound THAT bad. If she feels like it, she may consider continuing the babble some other time.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The red button pt. 2

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Ahh.. there's that zoom-in on the letter that I missed out.

The red button

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I got this letter last Friday. Apparently among all the many many ambassadors that got the letter, I had the most relaxed response. I was just like "oh, okay". Yeah well.. when 2/3 of us get the same letter, what are they gonna do? Sack everyone?

Okay.. anyway.. See that part I highlighted? Apparently that's my biggest sin. Ohm. Hehe... So much for thinking I'm smart. I tend to avoid picking up calls from college numbers. So I won't have to go for extra duties. Unless I need to or feel like it. I have the college number as "uh-oh" in my phone so you can guess just how often I press the red button when I see that name flash on the screen. There was once my FTV lecturer Joe tried calling me to tell me he had my pencil case which I carelessly left in the FTV lab. What did Lily do? Yes.. *nods head vigorously*. You got it.. I pressed the red button. Tee-hee.. And the call came as I was rushing about the lab looking for my pencil case. Thank God he was kind enough to leave me a voice message. I got back my pencil case and promised myself I was never going to cancel calls again.

I had a call from "uh-oh" this morning. What did I do? *looks down* I pressed the red button. So much for learning from mistakes.

The power of persuasion..

I'm good. Hahahaha.. I managed to convince Ryn to come along on Saturday for the steamboat.
*throws fist in the air*

This is how the conversation went.

Me: Don'tsa care. You come.
Ryn: I can imagine you going like "please ryn! please~!"
Me: *rolls eyes*
Ryn: Hehehe.. I'll come. I'll come.
Me: Hehe.. ookay. okay.
Ryn: I don't wanna sit next to Miss Blabber. I don't want her tempias to fly in my soup.
Me: Ok fine. You can sit with me. Don't start begging.
Ryn: If you guys put pork in the soup, then I can't eat already.
Me: We won't. Skipping that.
Ryn: Thing is Elaine needs to eat an entire boar.
Me: Hahahahahhahahahahah...
Ryn: So.. she might wanna dunk the whole pig in the soup.

Three words. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I foresee myself ending up in the soup :/

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Cough cough

I've been to the clinic more times this year than i have in all 20 years of my life. It's so weird.. especially since all my life I've nver missed classes in school. Primary school = 6 years. Attendance complete. Secondary school = 5 years. Attendance complete. Freaky, but true.

College= so far 2 and a half years. Complete slacker. I either oversleep or I truly am sick. Which is almost all the time. Tonsilities, cough for months, flu, gastric, bronchitis, footoolitis, lipsofitus, haha.. you name it. Names I've never heard before. It's all in my clinic card.

Honestly, now I do believe that stress causes sickness. Depression does make it hard to heal.

And last week? I found 3 or 4 mini pimples on my nose n forehead. Everybody go *GASP!*. Tee-hee.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Vanity

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Izan and I. After a hectic day of PR.


My sunshine.


That day at Starbucks.


Debbie Too Lily Woo!! Eww. Such insanity posting up this one.


Never-ending vanity.


Why post so many pictures, you may ask? Tee-hee..

Because I can.

Grrrrrrrrrr....

I hate HTML. I hate being stupid. AAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Photobucket

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Breathe

It feels good to hang out with friends again. It's been a while since I've really let loose and let things flow..

Work's been crazy.. but it's good. It keeps my mind off things. Being alone and thinking too much can drive a person mad. Trust me. I know. Life has been a whirlwind lately. Never knew I had the strength in me to deal with it all. Don't know if I'm doing at good job but hey, at least I can still muster a smile when I want to. At least I'm not pulling off the hairs on my head. Yet.

It is during times like this when I thank God for the many friends I have. We all come to low points in our lives when we feel like no one could possibly care about you anymore. It's silly thinking, I know. But as most of you can testify, when the most important things in your life start breaking apart and the people you care the most about start disappointing you, nothing else really seems like it is of much importance anymore.

But then, comes along those people who make time out of their hectic schedules to call you up, to try to cheer you up. People who take time to invite you over for dinner in their homes, people who try arranging almost-impossible meetings and lunches (regardless of whether they eventually do happen), people who offer to stay over at your place just to keep you company. And of course, the people who bring you out on an all-girls night or throw a party just to liven things for you. Sweet.

This week's been a much needed break for me. It's been great. On Tuesday, my classmates decided at 5pm to come over to my place and have an impromptu steamboat. We bought tomyam kosong from a malay store in Vista Prima, bought tons of food from Tesco in Puchong and headed over to my place. There we were.. 5 of us, feasting on beer and fishballs while watching Indiana Jones on television. Then we decided to go for a car ride in our very tipsy mood. Well, actually I had to go to Mont Kiara to pick up some props for my shoot. They wanted to keep me company. I was touched. After getting my stuff, we stopped at the Kiosk at Mont Kiara, bought more beers and sat by the roadside.

Wednesday, my group and I shot a rape scene for our movie. It was very uh.. entertaining, watching my friends act. I tried not to laugh. The actress tried not to cry. Imagine our faces when the actor, who's also the director, accidentally farted while humping/raping the actress. He was on top. She was stuck under. Hahahahahha.. now THAT was darn funny. And we have it on tape.

Thursday saw 6 of us in Bar Savanh by 7pm with a bloody mary, jugs of beer and an entire bottle of Chivas. 3 girls+3 guys+drink=6 happy campers. By 9pm, we had 6 very high people drinking sup ekor at the nearby mamak store. As if that wasn't enough, we headed back to USJ to have tomyam. Excellent.

Friday, I had steamboat for a friend's birthday. Ate till I wanted to puke and headed home. By midnight, I had my classmates lounging in my hall again. I fell asleep. They entertained themselves, finished my drinks and food, and played monopoly. I woke up at 7am, to find 3 sleepy beauties on my couch. The hall was a mess, but I couldn't care less.

Today, we had Bak Kut Teh for lunch and chendol from SS15 for dessert. Yum! Then we made a visit to Carrefour to buy the stuff we'd need for our bbq tomm. Well, today actually... considering that it's 6am, Sunday morning now. Bought chicken, meat, drinks, junk food, etc. Stupid us forgot the beer. Had others screaming in our ears after that. However, a strawberry flavoured white wine DID catch our attention. But we ran out of cash. Definitely calls for a trip back to Carrefour. Had Williams for dinner. That was good, as usual. Then spent the rest of the night playing dota in SS15. Or at least I tried. It's been what.. a year and a half since I touched Frozen Throne, and now dota? Shit.. I was crap. I think I'm addicted. Yet again. My friends said I looked like a druggie out of rehab. *ohm*

And today, it's bbq day on a lake in Kota Kemuning. I need this. It feels daaammn good. We made our plans all week on impulse. We did just what we felt like doing. I had to deal with more shit mid-week, but all this chilling with friends is helping me cope. Right now I'm just gonna take one day at a time.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Sally's Orchid

There was an orchid someone gave me
Flat and pressed against the glass
It once was pink and vivid
But today its day has passed

Its brown leaf spread weak and thin
That orchid feels just like my bones and skin
Its heartbeat centre of its soul
Is now just a furry shelter to protect it from the cold

Laid out flat for visual effect
Today I feel a lot like that
I put it in its frame eternal joy
And now it's just another burnt out toy

You should have seen the way
It slowly just decayed
I feel a lot like that orchid today

--Ben Lee

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Left untitled...

And so it is. Just like you said it would be
It was a mistake. My blunder
I wanted it. Had to have it
Like a delirious little girl in a candy store
Red and white. Orange. Blue. Colors spill.
Blinded by worldly desires
Inoring the screams and blinking hazard lights

Now here I stand. On an empty street
No where to turn. No where to hide
Two little frogs in a glass jar
You said it would hurt
When it rains it pours
You warned me. Naïve and blind I turned away
Crimson blood sweat salty tears

Run like the wind
Soar high like an eagle. Far far away
I can't
Close my eyes
The tears are blinding me
I can't
Memories not fading
Seepign through my veins
Voices telling me
"I have to be alright"

I don't. Lonelier than ever
Too afraid to leave. Too scared to lose
Too stupid to see. Nothing to claim was mine
Played a losing game
Black Jack with the Joker's card
Royal sultan's 117th concubine
Hold me tight. Tighter. Don't let go.
I'm falling. It's hurting. Help.
A single slit on my wrist

I was the sprinter a second too late
The shoe that would never fit
The scrawny girl with the awkward smile
Standing next to the beautiful prom queen
Second best I always will be
Good enough never
I tried. I really really did.
Held on so tight till my nails they bleed
I'm sorry. Screwed me. Screwed you.
Fuck.

- lily, written 26.3.05

Sunday, May 08, 2005

freeze

i am so demotivated. so much work. brain freeze. brain freeze. brain freeze. can't write. pc's fucked. i mean literally. there's virus all over this damned thing. so bad till i can't type a full sentence without the pc hanging. didn't send it in. cos of one silly stalker. can't get online. so much on my mind. don't know where to start. so much i can't say. never know who's reading. so much for freedom of speech. i can't do this. i'm so sorry. i'm a failure at blogging. yes. i know. i will resurrect one day. i promise. just. not. now. arrrrrrrrrghhhh...